Looking Back

It is 11:51pm....Most people who have been up since 5:30am would be sound asleep by now. I could blame it on the amount of caffeine I had (a drawback of working at a coffee shop), but that would not be the full truth... I got it in my head to look back at old diaries a couple of weeks ago and boy what a ride that has been. For those that know me well, I write, like a lot. Almost 14 diaries in 9 years not counting the mess of notebooks and loose papers. Seriously though, it is really hard to see how far you’ve come until you look back. And all I can say is God is faithful. Even when life is so hard it hurts to breathe, even when it's so dark you can't see a thing, even when it's so heavy you can't move. God is faithful. A close friend and mentor said it best, "As I look back on my life, I see how, like a shepherd, the LORD has met my needs and given refreshment to my soul. When there are times I feel life is not fair, I can fully trust my Jesus' love for me and His unfailing faithfulness to me. And I can review the many times He has demonstrated this." She was battling cancer when she wrote this and had been for a long time at that point, and not only did she believe it, she lived it. There were times when I felt like I would not make it through another day, but God got me through it. Even though at those points I was anything but loving and obedient to Him, He faithfully walked by my side and carried me when my strength failed over and over and over again. No matter where you are, I know my Jesus and hopefully, your Jesus too will get you through. And maybe somebody needed this which is why God wanted me to share...

The alternative idea is that I'm severely sleep-deprived and not making sense, so, it's whatever sounds better at this point.

Written Feb. 24, 2022